A little bit of forgiveness
by Blossomangel85
Summary: Written as a prompt from a face book writers page. Write a paragraph where a character apologizes without using the words apologize, regret or sorry.
1. Chapter 1

"Written as a prompt from a face book writers page. Write a paragraph where a character apologizes without using the words apologize, regret or sorry

"Dean gazed at the sleeping form of Castiel and let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. It was all his fault and he intended to spend the rest of his days making it up to him. Now that he had a chance to think about it, he had given Castiel too many reasons to think he was useless and expendable./p

"He had said yes to Lucifer all because of Dean, and wanting to prove himself. Dean had been too selfish to even think about what Cas was going through and how he felt. "I promise Cas.. I'll make it up to you somehow buddy, I'll make sure you never feel this way again.

"Cas had finally been able to expel Lucifer from his body and he had now been sleeping for three days, with no signs of waking up yet. Dean sighed softly as he just continued to watch over Castiel the way that Cas always did for him. Funny, it didn't seem as creepy when he did it as opposed to Castiel. As he sat and watched, he just hoped that one day Cas would be able to forgive, for now though, he just hoped he would wake up.


	2. Chapter 2

**A little bit of forgiveness**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own these characters**

 **Pairing: Destiel**

 **Chapter 2**

Cas had been out of it for about three days, he hadn't woken up once, however he could still hear Dean praying and talking to him, and he just wished he had the strength to wake up and tell Dean that he was the one who was the one who should be and that he should be the one who needs to be forgiven, not Dean. He had listened to Lucifer when he said he was in expendable and that Dean and Sam only ever wanted him around when he was useful. He just wanted a chance to prove to Dean that he could be useful again.

It was a stupid idea, He had to go for months with Lucifer at the helm, seeing him cause destruction and damage to those around him. It was such a terrible feeling knowing you were stuck and couldn't do a thing to stop this from happening. What had been worse was the look on Dean's face when he realized that Cas had said yes to Lucifer. The look of disappointment, and grief. He looked like a man who had just lost his best friend.. Well, really, Cas was Dean's best friend, and Cas just knew that if he was able to wake up and get out of this bed, he would spend the rest of his life making it up to Dean.

Finally after another two days of sleeping and healing, and hearing Dean beside him, not going anywhere, Cas finally began to stir, his fingers twitching and his body adjusting a little, moving into the the warmth of the body that was laying beside him and burying his head into Dean's shoulder. Dean held his breath a little, and waited to see if he would wake up. It seemed like forever, but finally Cas began to slowly open his eyes, blinking rapidly to let his eyes adjust to the light and Dean smiled down at him, "Dean, "I'm...". He was about to try to beg for forgiveness, but Dean cut him off.. "It's okay buddy", He whispered, trying to stop the tears from falling as he wrapped Cas in his arms. It was going to take some time, but he was going to be there for Cas every step of the way till he was better and fully healed.

"Thank you Dean", Cas said smiling tiredly and looking over into Dean's eyes, he felt safe and warm for the first time in months and as he looked around the room, he realized he was in Dean's bedroom, which made his heart skip a beat. He had not put Cas in any other room, but his own, which to him meant that Dean was already forgiving him. He wanted to say more, but he was still so tired and hungry, a fact which was made known to Dean when he heard Cas's stomach rumble. "How bout you get some more rest and I'll go fix you something to eat and drink?". Cas didn't want Dean to go, but food did sound rather good now. "I'll be back, I promise". With that, he kissed his forehead and then got Cas more comfortable and watched as he snuggled up with Dean's pillow and fell right back asleep again, his heart filling with a warmth and love he didn't know he could possess.

 **Hey Readers,**

 **I have decided to expand on this one a little more. I am not sure where it's going to go or anything, I am just looking for a bit of fluff and comfort. It might turn into smut later or a proper story line, but for now it's just Dean and Cas realizing what they mean to each other after they almost lost each other. Each chapter can be a continuation and also a finality so if I don't come back to it, it doesn't leave any unanswered questions or cliff hangers.**


	3. Chapter 3

Written as a prompt from a face book writers page. Write a paragraph where a character apologizes without using the words apologize, regret or sorry.

A little bit of forgiveness

Chapter 3

It was over a week since Castiel had finally woken up and it had been a little awkward at times. Dean was careful not to disturb Cas but also still liked to check in on him whenever he could to make sure he was doing okay. He sat and watched him over and over, but it was still hard for Dean to forgive himself for putting Cas through so much stress and pain. He signed a little as he sat in the little chair beside Cas's bed. Cas had been still gaining back his strength and Dean had hardly left his side the whole time. It was pretty obvious to Sam as to what was going on. He had been able to see if for years, the way the two of them looked at each other and yearned for the other.

"Dean.. what's going on?", He asked one day when he finally came out of Cas's room to get some food for himself, "I don't know what you are talking bout Sammy", He answered, walking into the kitchen and grabbing some supplies.. He made some fresh sandwiches for himself and Cas, grabbed a couple bag of chips, some chocolate and ohh yeah he grabbed some lemonade and two glasses as well. Cas had been sleeping when he came out of the room, but when he came back, he was going to rouse him and watch some tv with him. He needed to eat to gain his strength back quicker. "Yes, you do Dean.. since we got Cas back, you have hardly left the poor angel alone".

Dean let out a long sigh and he sat down on the chair, Sam clearly not done with him yet. Yes, Dean was still feeling really bad about the w ay he had always made Cas to feel inferior and not needed but it was also more then that too.. He had almost lost Cas this time. He thought back to those moments when he lost Cas before, and it hurt even more this time.. Maybe it was because Cas thought Dean didn't care about him. Sam looked at him and patted his back, "Tell him Dean". So Sam knew, he was always pretty smart Dean thought to himself. "I.. Sammy, I don't know how.. I mean... I can't say I have ever felt this way before.. How do you?", He trailed off, looking down.. Dean wasn't the kind of guy to just spill his emotions.

"Just let it come from the heart Dean.. just don't think about it". He said as he smiled at him and stood up, patting his shoulder again, "Do you think that Cas will forgive me?". Sam nodded, "I'm sure of it Dean. With that, Sam headed to his own room, it had been raining all day and it was a good day to just lay around doing nothing. Dean sighed again, smiling as he thought about Cas and took a breath in and out before standing up and picking the items up for lunch. He was going to tell Cas.. and that honestly excited and scared him at the same time.


	4. Chapter 4

A little bit of forgiveness

Chapter 4

It was hard for Dean to even begin to put into words what Cas meant to him.. He had never felt anything like this before. It was like he couldn't stand being anywhere without Cas and when he was without him, he felt like there was a part of him that was missing. It really felt like Cas was his other half, was his soul mate whatever the hell that meant. His heart had ached and longed for him for a very long time and when he finally became aware of the fact that Lucifer was now out of Cas, he sighed long and hard. It had been so tiring for Dean to fight against Amara and also try to keep tabs on Cas/Lucifer and making sure that Lucifer wasn't doing too much damage to Cas while he tried to find a way to release Lucifer.

Amara had thought she had the power over Dean, but she couldn't even begin to compare to Cas and how strong their bond was. She didn't anticipate her nephew having stolen Dean's heart the way she had wanted to just take it, and the poor silly little nephew of her's that he was didn't even realize that he had Dean's heart. It had been the thing that she found most intriguing. Yet whenever Dean was in the room with Cas, even if it was Lucifer at the helm, she could feel the way his heart sped up. She had tried for months to find a way to break the bond they had, but nothing had been working so far and she was beginning to see that Lucifer in Castiel's body was at least a victory for her anyway.. It was why now that Cas finally had his own body back and that Dean was locked up in the bunker with him that she was even more angry and determined to find a way to make Dean do her bidding and her will.

"Cas?", Dean whispered as he brought the food in and closed the door, Cas grumbled at having been woken up and Dean had to chuckle at the sound. "I have some food, maybe you could try and eat for me?". He sat down on the bed beside the angel and put the food on the bedside table beside him and waited for Cas to wake up a bit more. "Deeeannn", He moaned as he sat up a little, not wanting to wake up, but blinking his eyes rapidly as they adjusted to the light. "Come on Cas.. for me?", Dean answered hoping begging would do the trick. It was so hard to deny how he felt being so close to Cas, and he only hoped he would be able to say all he had to say to Cas. Cas sat up and snatched the remote from the beside table closest to him, "Fine.. but we are watching Nashville", He said grumpily as he turned the TV on scowling a little.

These little quirks that Dean was finding out about, the being grumpy in the morning and trouble waking up, the little scowls and frowning all just made Dean feel even stronger for his angel. It was what was making Cas seem human even though he did have his angel powers. He hated being stuck in bed not able to do anything and he didn't mind in letting Dean know how much he hated it. Even if he didn't come right out and say it, it was in all those little reactions that told Dean what Cas felt. Nashville was a chick flick kind of show but Dean couldn't help but let Cas watch whatever he wanted. To show Dean he wasn't all that annoyed with him, he opened the blankets to let Dean in and Dean smiled gratefully as he got in beside Cas and movd the tray over closer to the two of them where they settled into watch Nashville season 1.

Yes, Dean Winchester was falling, harder and harder each day and he knew that soon he would be able to voice it.. Maybe not say those three special words just yet, but he knew Cas deserved to know how he felt, even if he didn't feel the same which Dean wasn't at all scared off..Well at least that's what he told himself every day. Down the hall, Sammy heard the TV start up, no he wasn't listening in at all if anyone asked, but he smiled knowing his brother and friend were finding comfort in each other. Amara couldn't breach the bunker, even she didn't have that kind of strength. Oh she wished she did, but they had managed to protect the bunker from her, but she could feel her nephew and Dean together and she felt sick to her stomach, she knew she couldn't have Dean the way she wanted, but that didn't mean Cas would get him either.. She would make him pay.. For now though, Dean and Cas laid together in the bunker feeling full and happy as they watched episode after episode of Nashville, not caring about Amara or anything else going on outside the walls of the bunker.

 **Hey Readers...**

 **Hope you like this next installment, Don't worry, Amara won't be in this very much and won't do any real damage to Cas or Dean.. I just see her as being jealous of the bond that Cas and Dean have and her wishing she had that with Dean. I'm hoping to do the next chapter from Cas's pov. I am trying my best to stay as true as I can to the characters so I hope you guys all love it. This is just really mostly a bit of fluff to melt your hearts.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A little bit of forgiveness**

 **Chapter 5**

 **Cas's POV**

It was very early morning, about 2am and Castiel resting his back up against the headboard of his bed, his hands running through Dean's hair. Dean was sleeping soundly, and he had to admit that he loved seeing Dean so at peace like this. He was sleeping so much better now that Cas was back and being beside Cas in the same bed made all the difference to his sleeping patterns. Cas was a little unsure how he came to become so lucky to have Dean in his life, still accept him after everything he had done and all the damage he had caused him and Sam. Dean's hair was freshly washed and just so soft, Cas loved running his hands through it, tangling his fingers in. He smiled as he noticed Dean curl up closer to him and he sighed happily, his heart fluttering all about.

Cas was slowly getting better, day by day and getting his strength up more and more now. He had ventured out of the bedroom a few times now to eat with Dean and Sam in the kitchen, but he tended to stay away from the library and research areas. He was still not up to researching or anything to do with hunting for now and Dean respected that. He did however like to walk around in the Garden out back that he was slowly putting together. He loved working with his hands like this, and he also liked being able to read out in the garden as well. He was healing, though he wouldn't allow himself to use any of his grace to do so, Dean had tried to get him to reconsider, but much like Cas felt he needed to stay in purgatory that time, he also felt he needed to heal like a human as part of a punishment.

He found it hard to believe that Dean even forgave him for what he did.. He knew that he hurt Dean when he said yes to Lucifer, even when Lucifer had been in control, Lucifer still made Cas watch everything he did, and that included seeing the look of pain and hurt in Dean's eyes, that almost broke Cas. It just about made him fall apart, seeing Dean like that, in so much pain, it was almost too much for him to bare. He knew he had done some stupid ass things but he knew saying yes to Lucifer crossed the line.. It's why he really liked these moments when Dean was sound asleep, and Cas could just sit there and watch him, whispering words to him that he knew he could never say to him in the day time when Dean was awake.

Cas had always felt different towards Dean then what he did to anyone else, even from the first meeting, he had felt something. It had taken him a very long time to figure out what those feelings meant, but it all began to make sense whenever he saw Dean leave a bar with a beautiful woman. It was then that he realized it was jealously and he was jealous of the girl being with Dean, not the other way around. He wanted to be the one who got to be with Dean, who got to kiss him and be intimate with him.. Even now though it was strange, He hadn't seen Dean with anyone in a long time, apart from his Aunt Amara and seeing his Aunt controlling his hunter, making Dean long for her made him sick with jealously. He knew Dean could never want him that way, could never love him like he loved him and he was getting used to just staying in the friend zone, even though it was killing him a bit.

He just wished that Dean would look at him the way that he knew Cas looked at him, He never let it even enter his thought process that perhaps Dean did care for him the same way, deep down he knew that Dean staying in the same room as him, in the same bed even meant something, but it was something he didn't want to entertain because he didn't want to get his hopes up. For now though, he was happy just laying there with Dean, still running his hands through his hair and hoping that one day, they would be more then just this, that they would be lovers and Dean would accept the fact that he liked Cas more then he should and not be afraid or embarrassed to be around the angel in a romantic way.

 **Hey Readers...**

 **Hope you like this next installment, I just wanted to try to get into Cas's mind a bit more and see what he was thinking, I am going to eventually get them to admit their feelings for each other, I really hope you enjoy this, no dialogue between them, just Cas's thoughts and feelings about Dean as he heals and gains his strength back.**


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